Repost: Can you love another parent’s child?

28 August, 2014 (02:20) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

To be completely honest, when my children were young I never thought I could ever love another person’s child but when we got our foster children… I did.

My husband and I together raised two wonderful children of our own, now both adults and living on their own.   We love them dearly.  When my children were young, I would hold them close to my heart and the immediate bond I felt for them at birth was unbreakable.  Their love and innocence just shined brilliantly.  I never wanted to let them go and to this day I occasionally wish I could turn back the clock to hold them one more time in my arms.

Special moments are when your baby starts to coo, babble, or vocalizes spontaneously, grips your finger, plays with his or her toes, or just smiles to be friendly; it is a beautiful experience!  As they grow, not only their physical and mental characteristics change but their personality traits begin to develop, an increase in social and emotional characteristics blossom too.  These are all precious moments to enjoy!  It is a very special blessing it is a gift from God.  It is a love that only a true parent knows in their heart.   Those happy moments are irreplaceable! They can bring positive emotions during rough times.

Raising a child is never easy and can be a challenging task at times, but by focusing on the positive it can be very rewarding. Is anything really easy in life? In the end your child is a creation of you, they become your work of art, they are the result of all your hard work.  Many times they are just like you, habits, morals, values etc.  The bond is never severed.

Now take a child who was taken from their parents and comes into your home scared, alone, lost, sad… the list just goes on, but they are still a child; a child of God, a child that you can give hope.

Fostering someone else child is different and more difficult.  You don’t have the basic assurances that you have with your own child.  You do not have the bond that was created at birth.  They come into your home as is.  It’s whatever the mold that was created before you ever met him or her, whatever the difficulties that they have bared, they bring it with them. You just never know what “that” is and suddenly they live with you in your home.  Then you have to learn to live with the way he or she is.  You take him/her with the hope that he will get better through your efforts and your love with no guarantee.

When we got our three foster children, it was not easy. With our hard work teaching each of them many things like academics, manners, morals, values, respect etc.  “And” managing all the unexpected challenges involved in foster care all at the same time.  After a short while without realizing these children became part of our family.   We began to realize we loved them too.

It just happened.  I can’t tell you exactly how or why, it just did.

We wanted to protect them as if they were our own.  We wanted to take away all their pain. We worried about them.  We held them in our arms and rocked them to sleep, we laughed together, cried together, we had fun together. They too became a very special part of our life.  There will always be a special place in our hearts just for them.  Just because we did not share the initial bond at birth as with our own children, it was a different kind of bonding. We even feel a connection with their bio family and feel compelled to be there for them too.  Why…. there is no explanation.

Now they have moved on and doing great back home.  We continue to pray they will always be safe and hope they took what they learned while living with us; while all the bad that had ever happened to them and their family in the past is just dust in the wind.  “Only good will enter into their life from now on”

So the answer is YES, you can love someone else’s child, no doubt about it.  You just need to open your heart!

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