Health Topics To Be Discussed Over The Next Couple of Months

6 July, 2013 (23:11) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

Over the next couple of months, I will be posting information on health, longevity and weight loss.

Many of us spend so much time on increasing or improving the material aspect of life that we tend to neglect our own physical and mental body’s needs.  When we neglect our health,  illness occurs.   Illness always comes unexpectedly, though it didn’t just happen, it is years of accumulation from different types of toxins such as food we eat to the environment we are in. These toxins are inhaled or ingested into our system over a long period of time.  Unfortunately for some, many times it is beyond turning back, but we can at least try and prolong it.  How?  Changing our food, doing exercise, and cleansing our body to rid the toxins and giving it a rest so it can rejuvenate itself, so it can do what it is actually supposed to do on it’s own.

Example:  Many times people associate obesity with eating too much, that is so wrong!  Let say a person may eat sweets all the time, it is because their body needs it for energy so their body is having a serious craving issue, afterwards unfortunately once the energy is used up they are extremely tired.  Another reason, their body is not using fat for energy the fat cells become overwhelmed and more fat cells are produce.   In a normal functioning body the fat is used for energy.  Those sweet cravings are a deficiency the body is craving for, so in reality those cravings are not their fault at all.  As for a skinny person, they may look good on the outside, but how healthy are they on the inside?

We all need to treat our body as though it is a shrine.  It is precious!  Don’t neglect keeping your body in good health.  It is your body treat it nice!

Tip for the day!

“Dr. Kaayla Daniel, author of the whole soy story, points out thousands of studies linking soy to malnutrition, digestive distress, immune-system breakdown, thyroid dysfunction, cognitive decline, reproductive disorders and infertility—even cancer and heart disease.”

I am so excited to be able to share this information with you over the next couple of months and to help those of you to get on the right track with Great Health.   Remember you are never alone,  you are special and your angels are here to help you get through any challenge and steer you in the right direction.  You just have to ask them for guidance with open arms and the willingness to change!

If your health is good, you will feel good physically, mentally and spiritually.  You will have the positive energy to accomplish all the other things in your life .

Blessings,

Filomena

 

Your Thoughts…Make the Right Choice

13 April, 2013 (01:14) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

Something to “THINK” about “Your Thoughts.”  How to make the right choice in life from your thoughts and distinguish between them.

Let’s say you have specific thoughts in your mind, something that relates to anything that you want (relationship, material things, physical etc.) or even something you would like to have or want to control in life.  We will view these thoughts and relate them to a worldly view.   We call this worldly view, project one.

Project one is simply anything that is a worldly desire.   Now let say, while thinking of these worldly desires they cause an immediate feeling of delight.  Then immediately following these delightful thoughts they turn into sadness or disappointment.  The reason is, these worldly desires do not have the true essence or feel of God’s action but rather of the bad spirit.

How to know the difference?  What will determine if it is sacred and God’s action?  How do you know if it is a bad spirit filling your mind with unhealthy worldly desires?

Simply putting it; if these worldly desires created in your thoughts gets you all excited and happy then knocks you down with sadness, depression, or disappointment.   It is the bad spirit that is controlling you and filling your mind with unrealistic and unhealthy thoughts that are all lies.  You may at some point achieve some of those worldly desires, but eventually they will be taken away from you and you will be filled with disappointments.

Now, we will call Project two “sacred”.   If the thoughts in your mind are sacred and you feel God’s sacred essence all around you with the feeling of delight holding in your heart, then you know you are on the right path. Remember if the thought is sacred, this true essence or wonderful feeling will last forever until it is achieved.   This is God’s sacred work in action.  This project is the “feel” of God’s workings in your heart.   This “sacred” knowing will guide you to find your true calling or the path of righteousness.  Filling God’s love in your heart will give you sincere and true direction in your life.

To learn the difference between project one and project two, you must become “aware” of those differences.   You must take notice of those true feelings after the fact whether they last or not.  Do those feelings linger or do they disperse?   Do they continue to fill your heart with love and joy or does it bring sadness after the joy?   Have an understanding of where these thoughts are coming from.  Are they from God? Does the joy linger? Or is the thought from somewhere else where the joy doesn’t last?

Now take action.  “Accept and live according to what we have recognized as of God and  Reject and remove from our lives what we have recognized as not of God.” (Discernment of Spirits, Timothy M. Gallagher)   When you get a burst of thoughts that make you happy then sadness immediately engulfs you, your action should be to reject whatever the worldly desire is.   It is not the path of God.  This is the bad spirit giving you unfulfilled hope, this will definitely not last.  When you have thoughts that are ” sacred”, you will have so much love that your heart is completely surrounded with unending joy.   You have entrusted Him to work His actions through you, in your heart, in your thoughts and in your actions.   You will clearly know this is the work of God because happiness will never leave.  This is God’s actions working in your heart.   Only your thoughts that have God’s true actions working in you, is what’s sacred.

Blessings,

Filomena

YOU CAN HAVE WHAT YOU DEEPLY DESIRE

25 March, 2013 (22:28) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

 You can do anything in this world you want to do, but you must want to do it badly enough.

You really can have everything you want, if you go after it.

You have to want it.

The first and most important ingredient of success is desire. Do you know what you want?

Your desire is the planting of your seed.

Your desire for success must be so strong within you that it’s the very breath of your life. It must be your first thought when you wake in the morning, and your last thought when you go to bed at night.

You can be whatever you make up your mind to be.

Nothing is impossible to a willing heart
By Social Media, Max Steingart

Regarding Domestic Violence and Children, and Animals…Statistics

10 March, 2013 (21:06) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

There is a very sad number of domestic violence involving children occurring across the United States.  These numbers listed below are the only ones that are registered in the system, but there are so many more we are unaware of.  For all the animal lovers out there, the animals are abused as well in these types of homes.

Domestic Violence does not just occur in poor families, it is in all kinds of families.  You could be living in a multi-million dollar home and it could be happening right next door at your neighbor’s home.  They may seem to be the perfect couple on the outside, “he’s a great guy or she’s a wonderful woman” but we just don’t know who they really are or what really takes place in their home. It could even be the person who sits next to you in the pew at church.  It is happening in the average family.  There are so many reasons that cause domestic violence.  It is not always from drugs or alcohol.  It can be finances, control issues, mental health issues, depression, how the person was raised, military returning home and so much more.  The list can go on and on.  If this is occurring in your home or you know of someone, PLEASE call for help.  Don’t let it escalate.  If it is in your home don’t let it get to the point it hurts both you and your family.  Get help now!  You will destroy your family’s life and you will destroy your own life.   If you see an abused animal, most likely there is other abuse happening in the home.

The good news is:  There is help available out there.   Call your local hotline.  Don’t be embarrassed, afraid or you don’t want to get involved, because it could be you or your children next that this can happen to.

Recorded Incidents: 

How many children live in households where Domestic Violence has occurred within the past year?   15.5 Million

How many children live in families in which severe partner violence occurred?   7 Million

This is scary guys!!!!

 

Reflection of Psalm 119, For Anyone Who Enjoys Reading Psalms

8 March, 2013 (20:33) | Books to Read, Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

The first Psalm I have chosen is Psalm 119, but I have taken parts of this Psalm in relation to in my personal life.  I can’t per say pick one specific verse because there are several verses I can relate to.  In verse 119:9, 16 “How can a young man keep his way pure? by living according to your word.”  With so many challenges and uncertainties in my life at this present time, often I ask our Lord how do I stay on the righteous path and not stray from your word especially when I have no idea of what tomorrow may bring.  Only my faithfulness to the Lord is all I have left and on some days while crying out for help faith becomes a challenge in itself.

 

On good days when my heart is filled with trust, I lay down my shield and open my heart to our Lord with the hope of understanding His power of the law.  I need Him to direct me.  As I relate the Psalms to our current situation while minimizing the contents of our material items in our home by selling them or giving them away because we do not know where we will live or what the future will bring, I ask our Lord to “119:37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things”.  I pray that I have the courage not dwell on things that have no meaning, they are just material things.

 

“Though the wicked bind me with ropes, I will not forget your law. 119:61” Even though my hands are tied and my heart is tired from being in this situation and from being attacked by the wicked, I will not stop believing in our Lord.  I will continue to hold in my heart that our Lord’s words are of truth and are eternal.  The wicked are too weak to penetrate God’s love.

 

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. 119:105”  What I have experienced in my life is the more you believe, follow our Lord’s path and let your soul be filled with God’s Divine Light, the wicked will always try to knock you down.   This verse is a reminder to look down at my feet and follow our Lord’s path of light anyway for He shines His light on my feet and walks ahead of me to clear my path.  “His Righteousness is everlasting, 119:142.”

 

In conclusion, I refer to the verse “119:153, Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten your law.”  I pray every day and night for our Lord to have mercy and compassion on us while my cry for help before Him brings me great understanding of His word.

7 March, 2013 (22:13) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

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In Memory of my cousin Mena, there is life after death.

2 March, 2013 (03:34) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

She was born on March 17, Saint Patrick’s Day.  She had bright reddish orange curly hair.  Her personality was a bit loud and very straight forward but yet she had a heart of gold.  My cousin who bared the same name as me, she was called Philomena.  Her nickname Mena!  When we were younger, Mena and I didn’t spend a lot of time together, but I remember later in her life we seemed to get a lot closer, probably because most of her younger days she grew up in the Bronx, New York and I in New Jersey.  Miles kept us apart.  Later in her life her family moved upstate when her dad opened a family deli at the Interstate Mall in Ramsey New Jersey.   Being a family deli, it meant their entire family would work at the deli day, night or whatever it took, so their preparation for the next business day would pay off.  Every time I would visit the deli, Mena would be working the front counter.  Though I admired Mena’s entire family, I always admired her character, diligence and hard work.    Although she was loud, she had no hesitancy verbally.  She never delayed in saying things like it was, whether someone wanted or didn’t want to hear what she had to say.  It didn’t matter who they were, but yet she served the customers and got her work done. I can still hear her yelling from one end of the deli to her siblings at the other end. It was pretty funny! Interestingly everyone who came in the store knew she was a good person and meant well.

Sadly, when Mena was in her early to mid-thirties, she was diagnosed with cancer.  The cancer changed her personality as it usually does with many people fighting the illness.  I met with Mena several times. We conversed for hours and got caught up on all the times we didn’t share together and wished we did.  I really enjoyed our time together and wished there were more of them. During one of our conversations we both realized we believed in a lot of the same things.  Mena began to open up and confide in me.  She told me she had been seeing some of her past dead relatives that scared her immensely.  She wasn’t sure how to accept her gift that God gave her.  She didn’t know at the time, but this gift was to help her get through the difficult times that were in store for her.   She also didn’t know at the time that God knew she would feel more comforted and protected if she had the people she loved around her when she passed over.

Time seemed to pass by fast, faster than many of us expected or wanted to accept.  Mena’s health took a turn for the worse.  I remember that day so vividly like it was yesterday.  I grabbed my two children, picked up my mother and drove to my Aunt Frances’s house.  When we arrived, my Aunt Titina was kind enough to watch my children in the family room while I visited with Mena at the other end of the house.  Mena was lying in bed in her room.   Aunt Frances, Mena’s mom let me and my mother visit with Mena alone.   My mom did come in with me, but then Mena wanted to visit with me alone.  Even Mena being on pain medication, she still seemed coherent.  The one reason she wanted to be alone with me was to tell me to be sure to take care of my body and don’t wait until it gets worse, because at the time I myself was having some medical issues.  Once she told me that, a minute or two later she began telling me everyone is here with her, she sees everyone…all our passed relatives.  She began naming them one by one.  The room became crowded.   It gave me goose bumps.  I held her hand and gave her a kiss goodbye, immediately after I called her mom, my mom and my aunt.  I left the room and went into the family room with my children, seconds later they came to tell me she had passed.

Years had gone by.  My family and I moved to Colorado.   Aunt Frances, Mena’s mom is an awesome lady with the biggest heart ever.  Even living so far away from her, both she and Mena always have a place in my heart.   Mena’s mom took her loss extremely hard as any mother would.  I knew that my aunt would go to the grave yard often but I didn’t know she would visit Mena’s grave every single day to pray.  I found that out when Mena woke me up one morning in her loud voice at the foot of my bed.  She came to me because she was worried about her mom and it was not her mother’s time to leave this earth.   She said she has to be here for her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She said she has more to live for.  She wanted her to stop standing over her grave and stop telling God it should have been her instead.  She wanted to take Mena’s place.  Mena seemed a bit angry at her for saying that.  Her face became as red as her hair.  She wanted her mother to live for her, to celebrate life!  Mena said she is happy where she is and it was her time, not her mothers.  She insisted I contact her mom immediately.  I was a bit hesitant to call my aunt, but Mena’s loud personality sprung up and she wouldn’t leave me alone until I made the call to her mom.  My aunt answered the phone.  Then after taking a deep breath of brand feeling brave, without hesitancy I told her exactly what Mena told me to say.  The phone got silent.  I felt terrible.  I heard tears.  Then that’s all she could say…It’s true, It’s true.  We cried together.

I could feel the love she and Mena had for each other.  A love between a mother and a child should always be cherished forever like theirs.  The bravery that Mena had to bear and the bravery her mother had to bear, their love still will never parish.  This is what love means in a family, it is never broken.  The bond between Mena and her mom should teach us all something.   Just because one of them has passed on to the other side they are still here with us.   It is just some of us can’t see them.  Open your heart to your loved ones.  Cherish the memories.  There is nothing that can break the bond between you and your loved one, except oneself.   Just as Mena, all our passed loved ones, their work is never done.  If a loved one wants to reach us, they will do their best to do so.  Most of the time it is us, we do not listen. Maybe if we let them, if it is their personality to be loud, they will speak up just as I heard Mena’s loud persistent voice, but first you have to accept that they can communicate. Keep the faith, they never leave us.  They are just on the other side.

Blessings, Filomena

How do I Love Thee?

16 February, 2013 (01:23) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

How do I love thee?  Love begins within oneself when your heart and soul are complete.  True love is unconditional without judgment, without guilt and without distrust.   Love is kindness, honest, and patient. Love is hope and trust.  Love rejoices in sincerity and truth but with love you must have a forgiving heart.  Acknowledgement of forgiveness must be first enabled before one can truly love but one must first forgive oneself.  Forgiving oneself first teaches us as an individual how to forgive others.  As Jesus said, “forgive them for they know not what they do”.  Jesus still loved his people even when they turned their backs on him. Like Jesus did, if we can have a better understanding of human nature and the things people do to each other or themself unintentionally, eventually we can learn how to forgive oneself and others.  Unpredictability is typical for the human being.  Remember, we all do stupid things which sometimes we later regret, but by letting love enter our hearts and deep in our soul it becomes easier to love all around.  Love has to begin in a person’s heart and soul without question.

Loving someone else does not mean you love them one day and the next you fall out of love or if you are mad at them you no longer love them.  Love is not about fulfilling your own interests.   Fulfilling your own interests is just an excuse to use love for your own personal gain.  This is not love.  A person looking for personal gain is probably uncommitted to the relationship most likely from the beginning.  Or sometimes it can possibly be irrational thinking, they thought it was love when it was not love at all.  That indecisive decision was made without knowing the whole truth and feelings for the other person.  Their mind was disembodied causing their judgment to go array.  If true love did exist in your relationship, it is a feeling of oneness.  There are no doubts whatsoever.

With love there is no jealously, no disrespect, no anger and no fear.  If these exist than love has dissipated or probably never existed at all.  Always, love is beautiful.  Love should not make you feel inflated or guilty or prove whether to love is right or wrong.  With love there is no guilt.   With love there are no regrets.  Regrets can break the bond of love.  So, take a step backward, do not focus on the regrets instead look at them as something as a lesson learned with love.  Learn from that love, feel the guilt melt away and forgive, then enjoy the positive aspect of all that love brings you.  Regrets, judgment and distrust just bring on the fear and anger in a relationship and cause love to dissipate.  If it has reached that point then maybe the love was never there in the beginning, again it could have been for their personal gain.

Love is trustworthy filled with ultimate kindness.  In the perfect relationship, love is beyond affection, beyond communication, beyond sex, it is complete it is a whole.  There is never doubt or second guesses with love.  Love goes beyond what we can fathom.   There is oneness when two souls have touched.  They become unbreakable and inseparable.  Their love for each other can never be severed, it will just grow stronger.  That love will radiate beyond their relationship spreading their kindness all around them.  Together their love can build an empire that goes beyond their personal endeavors, beyond their personal gain and reach everyone who enters into their life. Even love your enemy and fill them with your kindness.

With love there are no questions, there are no judgments, and there are no distrusts.  One can experience true kindness lined with love alone.  If someone is in a relationship where it is questionable or there is distrust then love never existed.  That relationship was made out of the conditions formed by their surroundings or self-motives.   Whatever was happening at that moment in time is what could have made their drastic decisions to be in the relationship in the first place.  Those bad decisions may eventually rise to the surface because the reasons for which began the relationship were wrong, unstable or unpredictable and love was nonexistent in the beginning. It was not true love.  If true love, honesty and trust exist between two people they can be unstoppable as a pair.  With trust there is honesty.  With honesty there is no judgment.  Without judgment there is no guilt.  With kindness there is love.  With true love you have it all.

Ask God to send His angels to help your relationship become stronger through love and kindness.  Ask Him to help resolve any issues and help release any judgment, guilt or distrust.  Ask God to send the angels to protect and build a strong relationship so the love you have for each other will reflect upon others, then others will learn from your love.  Ask God to help to heal and keep your relationship impenetrable.  Spread your love and kindness together as one to all around you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Blessings Filomena

We All Have Gifts, What is Yours?

19 January, 2013 (03:48) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

We all have gifts, what is yours?  When you enable your gifts it will shine from the center of your hearts.  Believe that these gifts you have will be for the greater good of mankind.  It really does not matter what the gift is.  Depending on the type of gift, it may sometimes feel like it is the most difficult to pursue while others seem simple.  There are many people who have many gifts but lose focus or feel unaccomplished when overwhelmed by so many.  The reason is they are trying to perfect all of them at once verses one or two at a time.  Other times they may pursue a gift and not fulfill it only to have regret because the disappointment.  But sometimes by perfecting one gift at a time it will bring you closer to your life purpose and closer to the next gift you are supposed to pursue.  You need to pursue your life purpose one step at a time.

If you are trying to define every step in your life, your life will just become more difficult and more complicated.  It could make you discouraged.  Your confusion will block your gifts and you will not know what you are supposed follow.  You might begin to question, is it the will of others or your own.  If you have special gifts then they are precious and you have them for a reason.  Don’t let anything or anyone interfere with the steps you take.  Just take another step beyond the difficult parts.  Hold on to your dream and pursue with your heart, when you do that it will help you pursue your life purpose.  Don’t let indecisiveness or questions stop you.  It will just hold you back from being the person you were meant to be or the things you are meant to do.  Your gift could be love, courage, strength, talent, speech etc.  So listen with your heart and you will find the answers to what your gifts truly are and what you are meant to do with them.  Reach deep inside yourself to find it.  When you do you will find peace, satisfaction and hope.

Once you determine what your gifts truly are, you must practice until it is perfected in order to fulfill your role in life.  Some of the roles will be leaders and others will be followers.  Regardless what role, we all have a purpose to protect and serve others.  Although we have the choice of being a leader or follower we still have to be worthy of these special gifts.  Whatever happens later in life is based on the way we pursued our gift early in life.  It is about how we perfect the gift in order to pursue it that will determine whether we teach it, share it, motivate it, or encourage it in order to help improve mankind.  Our gifts become wisdom for others once perfected.   We are put in positions in life that are sometimes easy and other times hard.  As long as we perfect our gifts we will have the strength to continue and tackle whatever comes our way.  You could change the future of the world around you.  You could be the next Thomas Edison and invent something or the next Oprah Winfrey reaching out to help others.

At times you may question; what is the reason we have the gifts we do?  Why are we put into certain positions in life?   Your role may be a mother or a father who has the gift of love and service.  You share your gift of love and service with your family so sincerely.  You have now changed your family’s perspective about love and service.  Your child might be the next Mother Theresa.  Your child may change lives for the better.  Maybe you have the gift of voice, you sing in church or you create your own music, the lyrics and the music then touches the hearts of many people.  You might have inspired a young person to be the next Elvis Presley the king of rock.  That person may rock the world in the future!  Maybe your gift is to be a doctor or scientist to help people, a street sweeper who keeps our roads clean of debris or a soldier who has a gift of courage and bravery to fight a war.  Whatever the gift our creator gave us, use it don’t waste it.  Perfect your gift.  We are put into situations in our lifetime for a reason and if we perfect our gifts precisely as we are supposed to, whatever we do today will affect tomorrow.  Just as Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, if he didn’t believe in his gift of talent and gave up it would have changed history.  If Oprah gave up on her gift of speech, she never would have had a TV show which inspired or changed the lives of others.  These are people who pursued their gifts.

A mother, she shines her love upon her family which will in turn strengthen her family’s love and they will share that love with others.  Their love will then continue to spread far beyond what we could ever imagine. Such is the Butterfly Effect which is the simple things we do touches many more than we could ever imagine. Like the Butterfly that flaps it’s wings and creates a hurricane on the other side of the world. The family shares that love with everyone else around them because that was the gift that God first gave to their mother.  That gift will be passed on.  A soldier who goes to battle, although they may unfortunately judge themself or be judged by others as seeing or doing the unimaginable.  It is meaningless.  That soldier should only view his/her experience as a gift of courage.  That has meaning.  If the soldier did not have the gift of courage the final outcome during the battle would have been different.  It may not be possible for every person to be capable of loving their family as that mother did, or that not everyone has the courage to be in a battle that could change history.  It is possible for every person to perfect their own gift in order to pursue their own life purpose for the reasons we are here on this earth.  What you do today may change the world and you may not even know it!

Whatever the gifts that are bestowed upon you, some are simple while some are more complex; we need to accept these gifts into our heart to truly accomplish the final outcome.  Each thing we do, each moment we are in, each experience we have are all for a reason.  We are put in that moment because we are here to do something great even if at times it does not seem that way.  When we perfect our gifts they give us the confidence, hope and strength.  So do your best.  There is a reason why we have certain gifts and we are then placed at that moment in time in a situation.  There is always a plan for each of us that will affect the unknown future.

We all have gifts.  To be good at your gifts train, practice and use these gifts every day of your life.  If you have the gift of love, give love with complete sincerity.   If you are a soldier, know that your gift of courage could have changed history.  It was all for a reason why you may have gotten the gift of love or courage or whatever the gift you may have.  By perfecting your gifts, it is possible you are chosen to teach that love so we would have a loving community.   Maybe you went to battle and the one thing you did in battle could have saved the life of a someone that someday may find a cure for cancer.  Maybe you have a gift of science and your research stops disease a hundred years from now.  Maybe you are an artist who paints scenes that changes our perspective or view of the world.  The gifts are endless…

When we use our gifts in a positive way it could change history, the lives of others and in the end change you to the person you are supposed to be.  Even the little gifts will become greatness.  You may not see it right here and now, but your gift may affect the future of all mankind.  We all have gifts.  The most difficult is finding out what that gift is you are blessed with and then accepting them with open-arms.  These gifts are all given to us for a reason and you may never understand why you got that specific gift.  It may sometimes seem that it is a blessing and other times a curse.  But always remember it is to help fulfill whatever your life purpose may be.  These gifts are planned for each of us to affect and change the future of mankind.  Pursue your gifts so you can fulfill your life purpose, dream it, live it and enjoy it.

Was Your Belief System Molded To Who You Have Become?

5 January, 2013 (04:28) | Heavenly Beings | By: Filomena

Are our beliefs system molded into who we are at birth, early childhood and primary childhood, or is it molded during secondary to post-secondary age then again as an adult? Are our beliefs molded from the roles of our parents, our spouse, companion, and friends or from our own individual personality?  Does genetics or heritage play a part to make what we become later in life or is our own belief system created totally from our own experiences, choices, or decisions?   What determines those choices and decisions we make in life?  How does our own experience play a role in making the choices that we do?  Who have you become?  Did you take bits and pieces of your parents and their parents before or did you create who you are as a whole individual? What have you molded into your belief system that was gathered from all the people you have met throughout your life?  Who or what influenced you to become who you are?  What fixed belief did you or would you pass on to your children, what changes would you make and what beliefs would you pass on?

When looking back at the memories in my own life…I think about; who have I become? What changes did I make in my own life and what did I learn from the roles of my parents and others I have met throughout the years?  What beliefs did I hold on to unintentionally, what were intentionally and what formed from my own experiences? What beliefs did I change over the years? Did my children take with them any of our beliefs and keep them?  What beliefs did our children learn from not only us but past generations? What will they pass on to their children?

From the time I was a child, I can remember my father always being a hard-working man.  Though my mother went to school to be a teacher she never finished, instead she got married and took care of the household while my father was the bread winner.  My mother always stayed home the majority of her marriage.  When I was around eight years old my mother was forced into working part time as a seamstress because they needed the extra money.  Later when I was a teenager my dad got very sick and no longer could work, my mom landed a job as a head cook at the middle school cafeteria.  Before her working career, every day she would have dinner on the table, cloths washed, folded and the house cleaned before my father arrived home.  She even made my clothes from the extra fabric so they wouldn’t have to spend the extra money they couldn’t spare. Looking back at her life she reminded me as one of the woman characters from the movie “The Stepford Wives.” But then my parent’s roles were forcefully reversed she became the bread winner of the household.  They had to adjust to the needs of what was happening in their life at that moment in time.  In many ways I followed in my parent’s beliefs but also my own husband’s beliefs.  Though I had an education, when my husband and I had children I stayed home with them and took care of the household.  The belief that was molded into me and my husband was to stay home and raise our kids.

What helped my parents determine the choices they had to make to survive?  Did they learn how to survive from their parents or did they do it because of their own experiences?    Were the decisions they made based on what their parent’s decision would have been?  What helped them to survive through their experiences?  Was it because of their heritage, ethnicity, and genetics or was it their own natural instinct that determined their decisions and choices in order to survive through their crisis?  Did my husband and I follow what they did because of the molded generation belief system? Both of my parents came from poor families.  My father’s father passed when he was very young and my mother grew up on a farm. Yet they both learned by what their parents did and also by their own experiences they have had.  My mother learned how to make food from scratch and created outfits that looked store bought.  She and her sisters learned these techniques as young woman so they could continue these talents for their own families.  I too, had to learn how to cook from scratch, sew etc.

My father learned several trades such as an iceman, a mechanic, a truck driver, and a gardener.  He worked three jobs and grew a garden so my mother could cook fresh meals and doing canning.  My father’s mother was a young widow who raised four children on her own.  She too worked many hours taking the place of both the father’s role as the bread winner and the mother’s role which is everything else that needed to be done in their household besides raising children.  I remember as a child being sick and my grandmother took care of me for the day while my mother was at work, she rubbed ointment on my chest, not realizing her hands were so rough it made the skin on my chest sore.  Her hands proved the years and years of hard work.  My father followed in his mother’s footsteps because that was what he learned.  Both my parents were hard workers and not big spenders.  This was one of the beliefs they had both learned from their parents.

The other role my mother played was being a good budgeter.  She always calculated for bills, food, and savings etc.  My siblings and I didn’t do a lot of fun things we had to do our chores while my parents covered the necessities.  My siblings and I were also taught that as soon as we reached the working age we had to find a job, go to college or trade school make the money and save, save and save.   Though work was important at a young age, my parents believed school was more important, that was the change for the next generation.

My husband’s family was similar in many ways but different in others.  My father-in-law believed a work of trade was more important than school especially for the boys in the house, though it was ok for the girls to get an education.  My husband did follow many of his father’s belief.  My husband and I both came from Italian families.  Though we had very many similarities and common beliefs there were many things we thought very differently about.  For me having a good job, saving money and continuing school was important.  In my husband eyes, for me, staying at home with the children was more important and he, being the sole bread winner was important.  He believed continuing in his father’s footsteps as his father did before him, working the same trade was the norm. His mother stayed at home and took care of the household.  It was not until later in his life my husband expanded on that trade and became his own unique individual and accepted that I needed to be more than a stay at home mom.  Our heritage and a bit of genetics, our own experiences were then reflected upon our children.   A crisis in our life may have forced us to change that as well.   Regarding our children, our oldest son went to college while our younger son continues in the similar trade as his dad.   Now their choices will determine what changes they will make or what they will pass on to their children.

Over the years my husband and I combined those beliefs.  Our beliefs which were molded into us were created by our family, the people we associated with, our heritage and possibly genetics.  Many decisions and choices we made were learned from past generations just as we will pass on some of those beliefs. Now add on our own experiences they too will be passed on to the next generations.  Some of these beliefs which are molded and combined together will determine our decisions and our choices we have made or will make in life.   Just as my husband and I did, our children will take something from each of us, some from our family beliefs, some from friends, and their own experiences.  Our children will then combine that with the information from their spouse.  Together they will add their own experiences, make their changes and then pass it on to their children.  Each new generation will have a certain bit of their past generation in them combined with their new beliefs.  Our new generation will then be formed.  This formation is a little bit of our family’s history, ethnicity, heritage, plus our own experiences.  Who have you become?  What changes will you make and what will you pass on?

Blessings,

Filomena